Journals of a Love Addict

The Podcast

Do you…

Continually find yourself in dysfunctional relationships?

Undervalue yourself while putting others on a pedestal?

Have a pattern of dating emotionally unavailable partners?

Yes? I can totally relate.

On my podcast, Journals of a Love Addict, I share my personal journey through love addiction recovery, and my experience as a therapist.

I also talk with others who have struggled, as well as experts in trauma, addiction, and other areas of mental health.

My hope is to help listeners feel less alone as I spread awareness of what love addiction is really all about.

Music by JD Pendley

Jodi White 4/14/24 Jodi White 4/14/24

Episode 46: Setting Boundaries That Stick with Jules Taylor Shore

In this episode, I talk with therapist and boundaries expert Juliane (Jules) Taylor Shore about her new book, "Setting Boundaries That Stick" (you may remember Jules from EP31, "All About Boundaries"). Jules shares six steps to setting an external boundary, the importance of a pause and paying attention to feelings, why hard conversations are so challenging, why we struggle with self-compassion, and why growth comes with grief.

One of the hard parts of recovery--and life--is having difficult conversations, especially those that come with a chance of discord, being seen as the 'bad guy', or simply feeling uncomfortable. When confronted with having hard conversations, it can seem 'easier' to avoid them...but also less functional, and avoiding can lead to resentment and feeling stuck.

But there's good reason for the discomfort: In this episode of the podcast, I talk about this with therapist and boundaries expert Juliane (Jules) Taylor Shore and her new book, "Setting Boundaries That Stick" (you may remember Jules from EP31, "All About Boundaries"). Jules shares six steps to setting an external boundary, as well as the importance of a pause and paying attention to feelings; why hard conversations are so challenging; why we struggle with self-compassion, and why growth comes with grief.

Show notes & resources:

Information about Jules Taylor Shore and her Instagram.

Purchase "Setting Boundaries That Stick" by Jules Taylor Shore

EP31: All About Boundaries with Jules Taylor Shore

Music by JD Pendley

Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

Jodi White 3/24/24 Jodi White 3/24/24

Episode 45: The Hard Parts

It's hard to be still sometimes, especially in a culture that constantly tells you to get moving, to achieve, and perform. In this episode, I talk about a few of the hard parts of recovery…

It's hard to be still sometimes, especially in a culture that constantly tells you to get moving, to achieve, to perform--plus being still often comes with all the feelings...and feeling our feelings can be hard, too.

In this episode, I talk about a few of the hard parts of recovery, including difficult conversations, how I view past shameful experiences, and the reality of joy in recovery.

Show notes & resources:

Information about Emily Nagoski

The Principles of Pleasure on Netflix (trailer)

The Robcast episode referenced (#365)

Danielle Laporte

Music by JD Pendley

Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com

Jodi White 3/8/24 Jodi White 3/8/24

Episode 44: Most Codependable

Love addiction comes with a set of symptoms leading to a pattern of dysfunctional relationships. Then, after each relationship we say "I'll never do that again", fully intending to make some changes, but... In this episode, I discuss these cultural beliefs--how they fuel love addiction and how they can meddle with life in recovery, too.

Love addiction comes with a set of symptoms leading to a pattern of dysfunctional relationships; whether we tend to be more anxious or more avoidant (or both), we may find ourselves in the push/pull of addictive relationships more than once. Then, after each relationship we say "I'll never do that again", fully intending to make some changes, but...

Even if we enter love addiction recovery and address the symptoms, we may still find that we're unknowingly driven by outdated messages telling us who we're supposed to be and how we're supposed to live our lives. Why? Because of inherited cultural beliefs that infiltrate our decision-making.

In this episode, I discuss these cultural beliefs--how they fuel love addiction and can meddle with life in recovery, too. I also review the symptoms of codependence and love addiction and talk about the impact that seemingly benign labels can have on kids.

Show notes & resources:

Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com

Books referenced: Facing Codependence and Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody and Ready to Heal by Kelly McDaniel

Album referenced: Tragic Kingdom by No Doubt

Jodi White 2/19/24 Jodi White 2/19/24

Episode 43: LYLAS

The term 'love addiction' is often referred to in the context of romantic relationships, but did you know that the symptoms can apply to platonic relationships, too?

In this episode, I talk about my history with undervaluing myself in friendships and overlooking red flags to belong and be the "best friend". I’m joined by my friend Brooke (from "A Breakup Story"), to discuss the complexity of female friendships past and present.

The term 'love addiction' is often referred to in the context of romantic relationships, but did you know that the symptoms can apply to platonic relationships, too?

Show notes & resources:

Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com

NYT article: What To Do If A Friend Ghosts You by Catherine Pearson

Books referenced: Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody and Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel

Jodi White 2/19/24 Jodi White 2/19/24

Episode 42: Talking About Blocking with Leah Aguierre, LCSW

To block or not to block? It’s a big question. In this episode, I’m joined by trauma therapist Leah Aguierre as we explore the reasons why the decision to block can be difficult, despite its commonality in our digitally-connected world. Tune in to understand the complexities and advantages of setting digital boundaries.

Have you ever needed to block someone? Maybe you ended a relationship and no longer wanted to see their social media activity, or maybe you found yourself needing to have a hard boundary with a former friend. In today's world, considering that most of us are accessible on multiple platforms, it's not uncommon to block another person...BUT, that doesn't mean it's always easy to do (for a number of reasons).

Blocking is an important topic, so I invited trauma therapist, Leah Aguierre--someone who talks openly about the subject on social media--to join me for a conversation. On this episode Leah and Icover why we struggle with the idea of blocking, four reasons why blocking can be helpful in certain situations, and we share personal experiences with blocking.

Show notes & resources:

You can learn more about Leah here leahaguierrelcsw.com and on Instagram @leahaguirrelcsw

Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com

Jodi White 11/1/23 Jodi White 11/1/23

Episode 41: The Three Whys with Nicole Lewis-Keeber

You may have heard about the importance of your 'why'--that thing that motivates you and provides a sense of purpose in life and work. But what if that concept was broken down even further, into three parts that took you deeper into that 'why'?

Nicole Lewis-Keeber (therapist, coach & author) has done just that, and she talks with me in this episode of the podcast about The Three Whys. I also share an early experience that took me away from my Why, and a little about the process of getting back to it.

Jodi White 10/12/23 Jodi White 10/12/23

Episode 40: That Therapist (A Conversation with Dr. Lara Dye

If you're a listener of the podcast, then you've heard me talk about 'that therapist'--the one I worked with in 2016, who taught me about love addiction, supported me through withdrawal, and played a vital role in my early recovery. That therapist is Dr. Lara Dye. And, because she was such an important part of my recovery journey, I invited Dr. Dye to talk with me for this episode of the podcast.

That therapist is Dr. Lara Dye, a Pia Mellody-trained psychologist specializing in love & sex addiction, limerence--and who has personal experience with love addiction recovery. And, because she was such an important part of my recovery journey, I invited Dr. Dye to talk with her for this episode of the podcast.

Jodi White 9/15/23 Jodi White 9/15/23

Episode 39: Intimacy Intolerance with Kelly McDaniel

What is intimacy? If you Google the term you might find varying--yet similar--definitions...but what does it mean to YOU?

In this episode, Kelly McDaniel (author of "Ready to Heal" and "Mother Hunger") is back to talk with me regarding what intimacy really is, and the reason why in love addiction--although we might crave closeness--we struggle to tolerate authentic intimacy.

Jodi White 9/6/23 Jodi White 9/6/23

Episode 38: Pretty Baby (A Mother Hunger Conversation)

Have you seen the Hulu documentary, "Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields"? It paints a powerful portrait of Brooke's sexualization as a child actor, and brings attention to the waters in which young women swim from a young age. On this episode of the podcast, I’m joined by my friend, Brooke, to discuss "Pretty Baby" through the lens of Mother Hunger (because we can't understand love addiction without talking about Mother Hunger).

Have you seen the Hulu documentary, "Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields"? It paints a powerful portrait of Brooke's sexualization as a child actor, and brings attention to the waters in which young women swim from a young age. In this docuseries, Brooke Shields discusses the highs and lows of her career, and provides insight into the complex relationship with her mother.

On this episode of the podcast, I’m joined by my friend, Brooke, to discuss "Pretty Baby" through the lens of Mother Hunger (because we can't understand love addiction without talking about Mother Hunger). Even if you haven't watched the documentary, you'll get something out of this one.

Jodi White 8/9/23 Jodi White 8/9/23

Episode 37: A Case of Cathexis

In love addiction we often feel like we're in love, but is it really love? And what is genuine love, anyway?

In this episode, I discuss the concept of cathexis--the thing we often confuse with genuine love--and the role it played in my love addiction.

In love addiction we often feel like we're in love, but is it really love? And what is genuine love, anyway?

In this episode, I discuss the concept of cathexis--the thing we often confuse with genuine love--and the role it played in my love addiction. I also share a recent painful experience that forced me to slow down in order to examine (and accept) reality, and to embrace the grief that came with all of it.

Jodi White 12/3/22 Jodi White 12/3/22

Episode 36: You Are Not Stuck with Becky Vollmer

Do you ever feel like what you're doing in the world isn't aligned with who you are? Like maybe you're going through the motions of 'supposed to' instead of living from your true purpose? If so, you're not alone...

In this episode I talk with Becky Vollmer about her new book, "You Are Not Stuck: How Soul-Guided Choices Transform Fear Into Freedom" which provides relatable steps for getting back to authenticity. We also discuss our similar experiences with first careers; the importance of knowing what we do and don't value; and how yoga can help us tap into our True Self.

Jodi White 11/4/22 Jodi White 11/4/22

Episode 35: When He's Married To Mom with Dr. Kenneth Adams

When we're enmeshed with a parent we might feel responsible for taking care of them emotionally, and guilty if we don't do what they expect of us. And while enmeshment is often uncomfortable, it may also come with feeling special and can be very challenging to recognize and overcome.

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Kenneth Adams, therapist, and author of "When He's Married to Mom", about mother-enmeshed men: What is childhood like for them? What are their adult relationships like? And how to recover from enmeshment and have functional adult relationships (with both partners and parents).

Guest User 10/6/22 Guest User 10/6/22

Episode 34: All About the Scapegoat with Mary Toolan

Are you familiar with the concept of assigned family roles; roles assigned in childhood that are either falsely empowering or disempowering? Maybe you've heard of The Hero, The Lost Child, or The Scapegoat? But what does all of this mean?

In this episode, I discuss The Hero and Lost Child, and how these roles contribute to love avoidance or addiction. And I talk with London-based coach, Mary Toolan, regarding the role known as the toxic family's dustbin: The Scapegoat.

Jodi White 9/8/22 Jodi White 9/8/22

Episode 33: Dirty Secrets

In this episode, my friend, Brooke, joins me to talk about the recent Victoria's Secret documentary; and how the company's marketing in the early 2000s led to confusing messages about beauty and furthered the cultural double bind women experience.

In love addiction recovery, we focus a lot on developmental trauma and what took place in our family of origin (because looking at our history is important). But there's something else that plays a role in love addiction: cultural messaging.

Brooke and I also share personal experiences about sexual harassment, body insecurity, and how uncomfortable it is to talk about “this stuff”.

Jodi White 9/2/22 Jodi White 9/2/22

Episode 32: From Unlovable to Recovering with Charlene deGuzman

There are books and podcasts about love addiction, and people talk on social media about it… but there aren't many movies that address the topic. That's why Charlene deGuzman's film, Unlovable, is so unique.

There are books and podcasts about love addiction, and people talk on social media about it… but there aren't many movies that address the topic.

That's why Charlene deGuzman's film, Unlovable, is so unique: She not only tells her story, but she calls love addiction what it is. In this episode, I talk with Charlene about her personal experience with love addiction and recovery, as well as what she's learned about herself and how recovery has changed her life.

Jodi White 8/11/22 Jodi White 8/11/22

Episode 31: All About Boundaries with Jules Taylor Shore

We hear a lot about "having boundaries" or "setting boundaries" or "respecting boundaries"... but what does any of this really mean? To answer this question, I invited trauma therapist and boundaries expert, Jules Taylor Shore, to talk all about boundaries.

We hear a lot about "having boundaries" or "setting boundaries" or "respecting boundaries"... but what does any of this really mean?

To answer this question, I invited trauma therapist and boundaries expert, Jules Taylor Shore, to talk all about boundaries. Jules takes this complex topic and explains it in a user-friendly way, so we can better understand ourselves and others.

Jodi White 8/2/22 Jodi White 8/2/22

Episode 30: Like a Tornado of Sticks & Poo

Love addiction gets messy. It's full of intensity, shame, and regression that leads us to behave regretfully, or as I say, 'like a tornado of sticks and poo'.

In this episode, I celebrate six years in recovery by revisiting Pia Mellody's symptoms of love addiction; and by providing examples of how these symptoms looked for me during nearly three decades of addicted relationships.

Jodi White 6/17/22 Jodi White 6/17/22

Episode 29: The Science of Stuck with Britt Frank

What does it mean to 'feel stuck'? And, what exactly IS a feeling, anyway?

In this episode, I talk with Britt Frank, therapist and author of "The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward”, about the definition of stuck; the difference between feelings, emotions, and thoughts; fantasy and fairy tales. Britt also shares her experience with addiction and recovery, as well as her thoughts on what keeps us stuck in our love addiction.

Jodi White 6/8/22 Jodi White 6/8/22

Episode 28: Third Degree Mother Hunger with Jennifer Acker

For this episode, I invited fellow Mother Hunger facilitator and therapist, Jennifer Acker, to share her personal Third Degree Mother Hunger story.

If you listen to the podcast you've likely heard me talk about Mother Hunger and the role it plays in love addiction. But there's an extreme form of this attachment injury: Third Degree Mother Hunger- which happens when a daughter grows up frightened of her mother.

For this episode, I invited fellow Mother Hunger facilitator and therapist, Jennifer Acker, to share her personal Third Degree Mother Hunger story.

Jodi White 5/11/22 Jodi White 5/11/22

Episode 27: All About Betrayal Trauma with Michelle Mays

We might think we know the meaning of the term "betrayal", but what actually happens when we're truly betrayed by the person closest to us?

In this episode, I talk with therapist and betrayal trauma expert, Michelle Mays, about the complexity of this relational trauma.

We might think we know the meaning of the term "betrayal", but what actually happens when we're truly betrayed by the person closest to us?

In this episode, I talk with therapist and betrayal trauma expert, Michelle Mays, about the complexity of this relational trauma, as well as recovery resources. I also discuss my new awareness of the role that betrayal played in my love addiction.